Fun and More Fun

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES OF INDIA :

Scenario 1 : Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on..🚶
That's MUMBAI..

Scenario 2 : Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.. The first two get together and beat him up..
That's DELHI.

Scenario 3 : Two guys fighting and third guy comes from a nearby house and says "don't fight in front of my place, go somewhere else."
That's BANGALORE..

Scenario 4 : Two guys fighting third guy comes along with a carton of beer.. All sit together drink beer and abuse each other and go home as friends..
You are definitely in GOA.

Scenario 5 : Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.. Now 50 guys are fighting..
You are in PUNJAB.

Scenario 6 : Two guys fighting. Third guy comes and shoots both of them..
You are in BIHAR..

Scenario 7 : Two guys fighting. First guy started beating the second guy, the Third guy comes and joins with first guy and beat the second guy without knowing anything..
You are right
(Tamilnadu)..

Last Scenario: Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall there
That's KERALA....

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.  The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.  After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
 Boy: Me! I’m going home now. :D

What's Tanjooberrymutts?
By the time you read through this you will understand TANJOOBERRYMUTTS and then you will be ready to take on China! Believe me... you WILL understand!!! The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a Hotel guest & room-service in China...

Room Service: Morrin. Roon sirbees.

Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

Room Service: Rye , Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?

Guest: Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon & eggs.

Room Service: Ow ulai den?

Guest: .....What??

Room Service: Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?

Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.

Room Service: Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?

Guest: Crisp will be fine.

Room Service: Hokay. An sahn toes?

Guest: What?

Room Service: An toes. ulai sahn toes?

Guest: I.... Don't think so...
RoomService: No? Udo wan sahn toes???

Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means.

RoomService: Toes! Toes!... Why Uoo don wan toes?... Ow bow anglish moppin we botter?

Guest: Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine... Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RoomService: We botter?

Guest: No, just put the botter on the side.

RoomService: Wad?!?

Guest: I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side.

RoomService: Copy?

Guest: Excuse me?

RoomService: Copy.. tea... meel?

Guest: Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything.

RoomService: One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh & copy... Rye ??

Guest: Whatever you say.

RoomService: Tanjooberrymutts.

Guest: You're welcome

Remember I did say By the time you read through this... ...YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'
And you do now, don't you!

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Pappu: I love you!
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I'll even die for you.
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I can't live without you.
Girl: Phurrrr...
Pappu: I even bought a diamond ring for you.
Girl: Really?
Pappu: Phurrrrr...

Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?

Pappu: Amritsar.

Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.

Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.

Teacher: Yes, go ahead.

Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?

Teacher: No.

Pappu: Do you know Banto?

Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?

Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.

A blonde and a brunette are watching a TV show. The brunette bets the blonde $10 that the man in the episode would jump off a bridge. The man jumps off the bridge and blonde pays the the brunette $10. The brunette feels guilty because she had already seen the episode, so she confesses to the blonde. The blonde says, "I've seen it too, but I didn't think he would jump again."

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."